Simon, Son Of John, Do You Love Me?

In honor of having finally been reunited with my digital camera, a post entirely of text.

When you say that you love God or that you love Jesus, what do you mean?

As you may already know, Greek has three different words for love: eros, phileo, and agape. Eros is romantic love, phileo is brotherly love, and agape is that unconditional, God-like love (the kind of love in 1 Corinthians 13 and 1 John 4). In John 21:15-17, a passage often called the reinstatement of Peter, we see an interesting use of the latter two loves. At this point Jesus has died and rose again, and He has now appeared to His disciples at the Sea of Tiberias.

"When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon, son of John, do you agapao me more than these?' He said to him, 'Yes, Lord; you know that I phileo you.' He said to him, 'Feed my lambs.' He said to him a second time, 'Simon, son of John, do you agapao me?' He said to him, 'Yes, Lord; you know that I phileo you.' He said to him, 'Tend my sheep.' He said to him the third time, 'Simon, son of John, do you agapao me?' Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, 'Do you agapao me?' and he said to him, 'Lord, you know everything; you know that I phileo you.' Jesus said to him, 'Feed my sheep'" (John 21:15-17 ESV, "love" replaced with original Greek words).

If you were to write a praise song and had to chose one of the Greek words for love to express your feelings for Christ, you'd probably choose agape. In fact, when we say or sing or preach that we love God, we usually mean it to be agape. After all we know that that's how we're SUPPOSED to love God and Christ, and since it's how we're supposed to be then that's what we try to mean.

But during worship this Sunday there was a song that very often repeated the phrase "I love you" in regards to Jesus and God really convicted me as I began to wonder "which of the Greek words would I use?" I know I'm supposed to be able to say "O Lord I agapao you." But I think, were I to be honest, I, like Peter, would have to say "I phileo you."

And that's one of the great things about Peter's response in this passage. In the past I've looked at this and thought, "Oh Peter, why can't you say 'I agapao you'?" Now I see the answer: Peter didn't want to lie. As difficult as it would be to stand before Christ in that situation, his agape love clearly demonstrated before you by his death and yourself having denied Him three times, and respond with phileo, Peter does not lie to Christ. He does not profess a love that he does not have.

It's not that I don't want to be able to say that I love Christ in such a manner, such as Peter certainly would have desired to say such. But if we are to worship in truth (John 4:23) then we must not lie to God about how we relate to Him. In fact to lie to God in worship is quite the opposite of worship for it is to insult God. It is like saying to God "I will say one thing with my lips though I mean another with my heart, and I expect to be able to fool you into believing that what I say with my lips is true and for you to accept it as worship." As such we mock God rather than praise Him.

God knows how you love Him. If you don't really, wholeheartedly love God with that God-like agape love, it's not bad to say "O Lord I phileo you." It's not like you are saying anything that God doesn't already know. To settle for a lesser love, THAT would be a bad thing; to be honest about your own failings in loving God while striving to love Him more, that is virtuous. Besides if love truly does come from God (1 John 4:7), then you love God as much as He has caused you to love Him; should you be ashamed of what the Lord has given you? Certainly not.

We should strive to love God more perfectly, begging Him through prayer to well up that love in our hearts, seeking Him in His word that we may know Him better to love Him all the more. Yet at the same time we must be honest about our relationship with Him, and we must be honest about it to Him, honest about it to others, honest about it to ourselves. To do otherwise is to be a fool.

"(Your name here), do you agapao Me?"